Bangkok - A tale of two Cities

So whilst planing this trip I have reached out on many of the places we were stopping to get advice on what to do (and eat obviously.) Bangkok was by far the most disputed stop of them all. Either people loved it or hated it, really no one was like, "Eh, it was cool." It was like, "Best place I've ever been ever in the history of the world," or "I will never go there again for fear of the awful smells and being inundated with millions of people at once." Turns out, that perception holds true for us as well. Although it was not my favorite place we have been, Rob was infatuated.

In all fairness, I did not love Bangkok, but Bangkok did not love me back. First off, everyone kept telling me about the smell, which, having been to bourbon street, I assumed couldn't be that bad. What bourbon street is missing is the raw meats and fish on top of the urine, gas, and vomit smell. That, my friends, is a special kind of smell. I came, I smelled, I don't want to go back.


We have been using public transport everywhere we go, and honestly, have gotten pretty good at it. (And by that I mean Rob figures it out and I blindly follow him in hopes that we are going in the correct general direction). Well, in Bangkok, they have your normal buses and trains, but they also have a riverboat. Rob and I decided we were going to use the boat as our transport that day. Well - we were planning on doing a food tour of Bangkok that night (which honestly could have turned my whole view on this city around, because you know I love some good food) but after we accidentally got on what I can only assume was the slowest boat in service ever, we were 45 minutes late to the tour and they left us. So - keep in mind - that I am now hangry and have been riding around on sewage water which may have splashed on my face at one point. Luckily, it didn't burn my skin right off.......

So in an attempt to keep me from escalating from normal hangry to exorcist level eat your face off hangry, Rob found a little hole in the wall place, his specialty, which was famous for their duck, my absolute favorite. I will say the food was absolutely amazing, but after about 4 Chang beers, I had to use the bathroom. There's some good news. This restaurant had a bathroom inside the kitchen (because why would it be anywhere else) and something kind of resembling a toilet bowl embedded into the cement floor. I later learned this was called a squat toilet. (Use your imagination and you can figure out how it works). Luckily, being from NOLA, we have had a lot of practice squatting. I walked out feeling truly defeated until Rob showed me a very fun story. Apparently, that same day, in Bangkok, a 10 foot long Python crawled up a similar squat toilet and attacked a man. So, it may have been the worst bathroom experience of my life, but damnit the python didn't get me. I'll take that as a win.

But I digress, in an effort to give Bangkok a fair shot, please see the below retort from our guest writer, Mr. Robert Taylor Casey II, Great Guy:



Thanks Anne! No really, “thanks”. Thanks for allowing me to attempt to follow up that post.
Dear Readers (mainly our parents and those of you who "hate read" the blog),
        Some of you may remember the playground game "Have you ever been to Bangkok?” which was popular with school boys of a certain age. Well, Bangkok, herself, is quite similar, like a swift kick or smack to the gonads. (Yeah, grade school boys are stupid). One is immediately overwhelmed by the traffic, the smells, and the food - oh ma Leewwwwrd - the food! And this is where my metaphor ends because there is nothing great about that playground game; however, the qualities and experiences which initially make Bangkok painful, frightening, and vomit inducing are actually her greatest assets.
                
When it comes to traversing the city, imagine the worst traffic you have ever experienced. Bumper to bumper gridlock. Now, add eight million people who live in the Bangkok area who all seem to be on the road simultaneously in various forms of transport: automobiles, motor bikes, taxis, bicycles, and of course the damn tuk tuks. People here tend to create their own lanes. It is quite common to see countless numbers of motor bikes, many with three riders or a child riding in the lap of a parent, skillfully weaving in and out of traffic. Three lane freeways have a tendency to become four with a high speed motor bike lane on the shoulder. Sidewalks aren’t really a thing, so add thousands of pedestrians into the mix as well. It is amazing that we did not see a single wreck or incident of road rage. I don’t know how this is possible other than to say that in our experience, Thais are pretty even keeled. As a passenger, watching our driver navigate this carnage was an impressive display of human ingenuity. I mean I get pissed when someone drives under the speed limit on St. Charles Ave. This guy had far more to contend with.
  
Speaking of ingenuity, the Metro (MRT) and Sky Train (BTS) are some of the most delightful forms of public transport I have every experienced and not just due to their cleanliness. In order to secure a one way fair, one simply identifies the number next to the intended stop on the map. This number corresponds to a button on the ticket kiosk and coincidentally is the cost of one’s fair. Insert funds, press the appropriate button, and presto a ticket appears. It is fool proof. In addition, the boarding process is quite efficient. Thais queue in straight orderly lines (none of this mass huddle, every man for himself, trampling old ladies to get on the train mentality. New Yorkers, I’m looking at you.)
When it comes to food in Bangkok, unbuckle your belt in preparation. There is a veritable feast of street food, hole in the wall mom and pop shops, and Michelin Star restaurants. Despite the questionable health practices, I loved everything about the street food. Some of my favorite areas were Sukhumvit Soi 11, a hip expat area closer to downtown, and the night market in the Bang Rak area. The activity is intoxicating, a simultaneous flow of orders in, preparation, cooking, cleaning of pots in the street, orders up, and chatter. Dumplings, salted fish, pad thai, jumbo prawns, skewered satays, hunks of meat on hooks, whole chickens and ducks, soups of indiscernible ingredients  - everything is for the taking. To the uninitiated, it is daunting. But what I found is putting in the slightest effort with a vendor or waiter, usually arroi mak mak (very very good), opens up the experience, to the point that I’ve found myself forced to sample some other delicacy just so someone could witness the expression on my face.


  My favorite dining experience was at Prachak Pet Yang on Charoen Krung Road. The owner’s grandfather founded the business in 1909. For our New Orleans readers, it is reminiscent of Casamento’s in both texture (tile everywhere) and efficiency. Their signature roast duck is stuffed with Thai herbs, marinated Chinese Cantonese style, and slow roasted in a coal/wood fired oven, creating a thin, crispy, salty exterior and moist, succulent meat drenched in its natural juices. Taylor and Steve, I have a man meat project when Anne and I return.

  Bangkok is chaotic, dirty, and intimidating, but I viewed it as a challenge rather than a threat. It was not so much the transportation system, plethora of food, or cheap, cold beer that sold me, but the people themselves, even the opportunistic, scamming tuk tuk drivers which is a story for another time. The Thais we met in Bangkok were approachable, affable, and accommodating (take that Johnnie Cochran). They were proud of their city and culture, and they were excited to share it with others. In many ways, they reminded me of the people of our own city. I felt like we hit the tip of the iceberg in Bangkok, and I am excited to go back for more.
Bangkok, you have me now,
Rob